Friday 9 January 2009

I got my friend today...

I am pretty sad. I got my period today. I was hoping that I would have an birthday present in the next few days finding out I was indeed pregnant. Well, next time. I need to stop obsessing on getting pregnant. I think I was convincing myself I was pregnant and that is not good. I dont want to be like those hysterical women that all then think about is having a baby and they lose interest in everything else. I know it will happen this year. I just need to concetrate on improving my health, mental and physical, losing weight and such this year. I just wish Thomas lived with me so I could be his Mom full time. I feel so alone and sad without my children. I feel cursed.

Well, that isnt positive thinking. Moving along. I have to just feel sorry for myself now and wake up tomorrow and think good thoughts. Life is too short. I cant believe half my life is over. I will be 42 tomorrow. My God a lot of things happenend in my life!

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